Teenager-Parent relationship conditions (Part 1)

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Teenagehood is a very critical yet interesting stage of life, and this is because, at this phase or stage in life, humans get to question things around them and experience fundamental changes in every aspect of their life.

Also, teenagehood is a phase that predetermines a person’s adulthood to a great extent. Simply put, this is a transitional stage to adulthood. So, the events of teenagehood and the teenager-parent relationship are very crucial. Parents, this is a period that makes fine-tune the values you have been modelling or taught them from infancy.


A lot is at stake when a teenager veers off track due to peer pressure or, moreso, societal influences, hence the need for a proper teenager-Parent relationship.


Teenagers, get in here and let’s talk. It might seem that your parents are mean, but that might not be the case. Your parents are not monsters, and neither are they infringing on your freedom with their disciplinary measures, cautions, and advice. In fact, they are your greatest fans and also care the most about you in most cases. They are doing all they can to prepare you for adulthood as well as teach you responsibilities and how to be responsible.


Never view your parents from the eyes of your peers. They are your guardians, and so are there in your life to steer, safeguard and manage the course of your life. Teenager-Parent relationship conditions have many sides, but the below points highlight some of the thoughts and issues of this very important yet fragile relationship—teenager-parent relationship. Gain more insight into this relationship here and here.

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    #1.    Parents are not good enough

    One of the initial lies you might deal with is that your parents are not good enough and they don’t like or love you. Seeing how some of your peers’ parents deal with them might get you wondering if yours are good enough.


    Please debunk this sort of thought, especially if there is no threat to your life by your parents. And remember, threat is a serious word, and minor misunderstandings, tantrums, disputes or a certain level of discipline cannot be described as a threat. Again, it is a different thing if your parents are sick or have mental health issues.


    Never doubt your parent’s love for you. If they have raised you from cradle to where you are now, what makes you then think that they are not good enough or don’t love or like you enough? Don’t allow your peers or societal concepts or misrepresentation of some kind ever make you look down on or disrespect your parents.


    Try to understand your parents and the reasons behind their actions. You will get to appreciate them even more. Most times, your parents are good enough for you and you should listen to them. They mean well for you!

    #2.    Parents do not understand my vibes

    As a teenager, it is your time and your era to question things, discover things for yourself, and act or react to peer pressure and societal influences. The feeling of your parents not understanding your vibes might make you want to act in a certain way or outrightly disrespect your parents.


    You might feel that you have grown and so can act or behave anyhow you like just to express that feeling. Calm down, humble yourself, and be very diligent to learn and decipher as much as you can to run through your adulthood.


    It is not true that your parents don’t understand your vibes, they do. They are only trying to guide you through your teenagerhood. Why? They have once been a teenager and so understand your peril and excitements.


    Here’s a hint. Just as you read or go to someone who knows more than you or something you don’t know to ask questions, take advantage of having your parents and guardians around and talk to them. Be fearless! They won’t hurt you. That is part of their responsibility to guard you through any circumstance. Be more open to them than anyone else, even if it is a teenage pregnancy issue or relationship matters. You will get the raw, undiluted truth you need to become wiser from the people that care the most about you.

    "Never view your parents from the eyes of your peers. They are your guardians, and so are there in your life to steer, safeguard and manage the course of your life."

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    #3.    Parents are not modern but old school

    Have you ever heard of the phrase “Give me the old-time religion”? Please don’t mistake the religion here for any belief system; rather, it represents ancient wisdom and principles. Do you feel the urge that your parents are not modern but old school? Rejoice and have a rethink on the matter. Till date, scientists are still seeking ancient wisdom to understand humanity and creation, even though they intend to modify it to fit our present world system.


    Yes, their principles, demeanour, fashion sense and a host of other things might look or seem “old school”, but beneath those is a wealth of wisdom. For example, your parent might not let you dress half-nude or in such a way that your “private parts” are exposed in any form. This might be the trend amongst your peers, and when they stop you, you dislike their old-school dressing format. Please think again. You don’t see CEO’s or people with self-respect dressing half-nude. Think like a boss, dress like a boss and act like the boss that you will become someday!


    A lot is at stake with any mistake you make in your teenagerhood! Your concern now should be to unravel the sense and truth in the counsel of your parents, guardians or adults around you and run with it. Weigh the options of how you will be impacted positively or negatively by any action of yours, place it side-by-side with your parent’s counsel, and then make the grand decision by choosing right for your good.


    Teenagerhood is not about sexism, perverseness or extremism in behaviour and context. NO! It’s a period to gain as much wisdom as possible to rule your world with wisdom and sound knowledge.


    Meanwhile, there is nothing wrong with having old-school parents. Just don’t let your peers who are also your age mates make you disrespect the people who have been before you, and so understand life more ­—your parents!


    Let's dazzle together as we share this insight!

    [To be continued]

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