Continued from Part 1.
#3. Culture of raising children
When it comes to raising children, many cultures and tribes across the globe have their ways or cultures of raising children. The end goal most times is to raise confident, strong and responsible children, who will represent themselves and their families in the society.
Cultural ethics, values and even belief systems are passed down to children when raising them. Ancient knowledge in several areas of life is also taught or passed down to children from their parents.
It is beautiful and very rewarding to raise your children in your cultural setting or home country. If you are in the diaspora, you will at some point feel the need to expose your children to their roots. We at Dazzling Insights encourage you to take your children not once or twice, but as many times as possible to your home country while you still can.
There are certain ways children are corrected or disciplined in some cultures. Understand your culture, pick what you can from it and also adjust to the country’s culture you might be living in. It’s all about dynamism and approach, but not losing sight of the main fact – discipline.
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Raising children in most cultures is a joint effort of both parents (a man and a woman) and the society. As each parent has their separate roles in the home, so it is with the raising of children. For example, it is only a woman that can get pregnant, and she needs to step into her role (to love and nurture) as a mother while the man does the same (to love, provide and protect) as a father.
When you follow your cultural principles regarding some or several issues in life, you will tap into some ancient knowledge as well as have a foundation to build upon and a basis for comparison.
#4. Culture of names/naming
Names are powerful. They are our very first identity. The culture of names is deeply rooted in the true essence of being.
With pregnancy comes the miracle of conception. People see or embrace this phase of life-based on the circumstances surrounding the conception. Regardless of whatever the issues are surrounding the pregnancy, with joy, excitement, appreciation or total dismay, people name their babies.
"Respect and treat your spouse well according to your cultural demands. Don’t insult your spouse because they are not measuring up to your perceived notion or expectation."
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In some, if not most cultures, the birth of a baby is celebrated. And the given to that child becomes the sentimental lens through which the community views the child. It is expected that the true meaning of a child accompanies him or her on the face of this planet.
"It is beautiful and very rewarding to raise your children in your cultural setting or home country. If you are in the diaspora, you will at some point feel the need to expose your children to their roots."
As a child is from a particular place, tribe or culture is the more reason why you should name him or her in your culture and tongue. Give your children their native names irrespective of where you live, whether in the diaspora or locally in your home country. Let your children know their roots through their names. We are not against you appreciating other people’s cultures and names based on your belief, but you need to own yours and represent who you are.
For example, the son and daughter of a king are called prince and princess. With their names, you can tell “who” and “whose” they are. A Jamaican man of African descent I met in the UK, was called a name from one of the tribes in Nigeria, and out of curiosity, I asked whether he knew the meaning of his name and why his parents named him so. He said the parents knew that their ancestors were from that tribe in Nigeria. That struck a chord in them and they wanted their children to be associated with where they are originally from.
Names are keys that open some doors. Be unapologetically who you are. It doesn’t matter if people cannot pronounce your name. In fact, that is an illusion. Anybody can do anything if they try. Your name can be pronounced by people who try to or chose to.
Name your children with understanding, and name with purpose. Don’t name them for simplicity’s sake or for aesthetics. Human life and purpose are at stake here, and so cannot be joked with. Go natural and local with your naming.
Hearty note to Africans: Stop bearing the names of your colonisers. Name your children in your native languages. Change yours too if you can. Model your cultural heritage and names to your children. If you don’t teach your children about your cultural names and meaning, no one will, not even your colonisers. Wise up!
#5. Culture of spouse relationship
A spousal relationship is hugely rooted in culture. Spouses treat each other most times based on their culture and tradition or personal beliefs.
You cannot dissociate yourself from your culture, especially the positive benefits you know and derive from it.
Respect and treat your spouse well according to your cultural demands. Don’t insult your spouse because they are not measuring up to your perceived notion or expectation. Avoid all forms of abuse.
Your spouse is your best bait. Work together in love and unity. Relate well with each other because you only have yourselves after all is said and done. Make your spouse your gist partner and best friend. I presume your culture agrees with that too.
Love and respect make a spouse relationship sweet. Have those two and know peace. Relate well with your spouse. Don’t let a third party or any individual come between you and your spouse. Only involve people in domestic issues you cannot solve amicably with your spouse. Also, seek help when you have life-challenging issues like domestic violence.