Parenting is a call to raise responsible children. Raising responsible children is a collective effort of the parents and society. A lot goes into raising children who will turn out great. Every parent desire to see their children turn out great, but parents need to play their roles well in order to achieve this aim.
Children copy and even modify what they see, hence, the need to nurture them on the right path to go in life. Generally, children have a high level of curiosity —that’s why parents need to be present in directing and monitoring them.
First, before becoming a parent, you have to make up your mind to be there for your children. You can’t leave your children to be raised by an outsider for you. Raising responsible children is also not something you delegate to your spouse alone. You have to be involved in the upbringing of your children (or your next generation).
It might seem easy to leave them with a nanny while you go about your work or career. But a nanny is still a ‘nanny’ and might not be able to pass down ethical values to your children. They can only do their best as it is a job contract and not a parenting call.
There are by and large values that only parents can instil in their children. As parents, you have to get your hands in the mud and mould your children to become the great men and women they ought to be.
The truth is, we need good people in the society. We cannot have a functional society with dysfunctional families. To a good extent, what you see in the society is a reflection of the families in that society. In other words, families churn out the people that make up the society. Family is indeed everything!
What then does it take to raise responsible children? Here, I have listed some attributes that will help you to raise responsible children. Let us know of others that you think or know of in the comments section.
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“Apple, they say doesn’t fall far from its tree”. The quality of the family in terms of value system determines how the children will be raised. For example, parents that worship money and affluence will most likely raise children that care about nothing but money and affluence. With that said, parents and guardians need to re-examine their value system.
A family where the dignity of labour, integrity, honesty and respect for oneself and others is present will raise great and responsible children. But unfortunately, these attributes are lacking in many families today.
Spouses need to decide on how they want to raise their children. If it means one spouse staying at home to raise the children, then so be it. Stay-at-home moms need to be encouraged and not looked down on. It takes understanding and contentment between spouses for a mother to leave all aside to be with the children.
I had a conversation with a mom of five on why she did not work throughout the years she was raising her children until they became adults, and she said, “it was highly necessary for me to be there for my children and instil lasting values in them that they will get nowhere else but home”. I am talking about a woman with a PhD in a rocket science field. She had a consensus with her husband, and they both agreed on that. So, when her last child got into the university, she returned to active work, and now she is a grandmother with all her children well-groomed and doing great in their chosen careers.
The take-home note here, especially for mothers, is: some things can wait but not the raising of your children. You can always work or start a business, but the children won’t always be small. The time started ticking the moment you became pregnant. Your family, especially your children, matter a lot, so keep an eye out.
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#2. Society
The society we live in robs off on us. A sound and secure society enhance the well-being of its residents. We are all part of our society, so we need to work on ourselves to ensure we have a stable society where our children can grow up and thrive.
A society where crime, fraud, alcoholism, sexism, etc., is the order of the day will greatly influence the character of the children born in such a society.
It takes a village to raise a child, hence, the need to have a sane society. When I was growing up in one of the countries in West Africa, just about any adult could correct a child seen misbehaving in the streets. But now, people have decided to mind their businesses and turn a blind eye when they see a child misbehaving.
The society impacts children tremendously, either positively or negatively. Families, government and the citizens must ensure the society is not toxic. Remember, evil communication corrupts good manners. Children with good manners can be turned into something else by association, what the society presents to them and choices.
"The truth is, we need good people in the society. We cannot have a functional society with dysfunctional families."
#3. Discipline
Discipline is like salt when it comes to raising responsible children. Without discipline, it will be difficult for children to turn out well. Simply put, spare the rod and spoil the child (Proverbs 13:24, The Holy Bible).
Discipline doesn’t mean beating or hitting the child, NO. There are different types and measures of discipline. It is best to engage the disciplinary measures that work in your country. For example, in some countries, corporal punishment of a child is considered an abuse.
First of all, define the purpose of discipline before you mete out any disciplinary measures to your children. I believe discipline is to correct a child and put him or her back on the right track. It is not an expression of your anger and you don’t have to inflict pain on your children. With that established, you can talk to your children or mete out tasks that will explain it better to them.
First, establish rules in your home. Second, ensure your children understand the consequences of breaking any of the rules. Third, when you draft these rules, ensure they understand them very well before execution. Different measures of discipline go for different defaulting.
Discipline ensures your child gets the values you are teaching them. Correct them in love and not in anger. Your children know and understand you. Be firm and stand your ground when you need to.
Folly is in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction drives it away (Proverbs 22:15, The Holy Bible). Discipline your children. You can do so without inflicting pain on them. They will still get the message.
Let’s continue to dazzle while raising responsible children.
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