Tips for building TRUST in your personal relationships

2.    Be trustworthy (yourself)

There is no way that you can build trust without being trustworthy yourself. First, you have to make sure that you make yourself trustworthy (reliable), for example, by not letting people down. Put yourself in the shoes of your friends/partners by becoming what you want to see in them. Maintain a high level of trust and faith with people.  

3.    Be completely honest and transparent in your relationships

Honesty and transparency are very compelling character attributes in building trust. It is far better, to be honest, and transparent in your relationship than to lie and destroy the trust that you have for one another. You can consciously tell the truth and open up to your partners when discussing. Avoid being deceitful, stop lying, and stop being two-faced.

4.    Improve your communication by making sure that you are understood

Communication is not just about talking and listening but being understood is very important too. It is a good idea to check how you are understood from time to time. A simple thing as a misunderstanding resulting from miscommunication can erode or destroy trust. Sometimes you hear people say, ‘oh, I didn’t realize that I was not understood’ or the other way around, when people say, ‘oh, that was not what I meant’. Be very clear in your communication.

5.    Don’t be secretive to your partner / very close friends

Avoid hiding information from your partner and very close friends. As earlier mentioned, transparency is the key to building trust. Hence, you want to avoid keeping secrets. Be very open in your dealings with your partner. One way to put check and balances to this is by asking people in your relationships if they consider you to be secretive and why? In the case of a negative answer, please consider talking things through as soon as possible, because this can erode trust.

6.    Keep peoples’ ‘secrets’ when you are entrusted with such

Endeavour to keep peoples’ confidential issues or secrets whenever you are entrusted with such. You will not be able to build trust if you cannot keep information confidential as requested by your friend or colleague or partner. No one wants to confide in someone whose mouth leaks like a kaput tap. The same way you will not like your little secrets to be announced on the rooftops – keep your mouth zipped (when necessary).  If not, it will be highly difficult for people in your relationships to trust you, let alone to confide in you again.

7.    Be there for your friends when needed

Be there for people, especially your friends when they need you. By so doing, your friends or partners can build trust in your relationship with them. In some relationships, trust is eroded because people cannot trust one another to stand in for them or to be there for them when needed.

Also, don’t take other people’s commitment to you for granted. Acknowledge and appreciate the fact that it is a difficult thing to make out time and be there for people, especially nowadays. Value such commitments and build trust in your relationship with such people.

8.    Minimize unnecessary gossips and backstabbing

I am not sure how many people will keep good personal relationships with people that gossip and backstab at will. I would suggest that to build trust in your relationships, avoid unnecessary gossiping and backstabbing at all cost.

9.    Stop being apologetic and diplomatic in saying your mind

I’ll rather prefer someone who is very open in saying his/her mind to me than accommodate people who are always apologetic and diplomatic during discussions. Let people know you as that fellow that is always real and not the one that garnishes his/her thoughts to the