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How couples should approach decision-making

Dazzling InsightsCommunication, Couples, Emotional Health, Family, Husband, Life, Partners, Partnership, Relationships, Spouses, Trust, Wife Leave a Comment

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Decisions are part of our daily lives. We don’t live in isolation of our decisions. Rather, we live with our decisions, whether good or bad. Irrespective of the type of a decision, it comes with either benefits or regrets. That’s why they say “choose wisely”, and in this case, I would say, decide wisely, or better still, make an informed decision.


A family grows and thrives by joint decision of the members of that family. Isn’t it interesting that you have a partner or spouse to run your ideas by? You are a team now, and the outcome of any decision, be it jointly or individually, impacts the family immensely.


Within a family, the couples ought to work as a team and continuously decide on the way forward for the family. It is not a one man’s affair but rather that of both parties and I dare to say sometimes, the children are involved too.


Some couples find it difficult to take a stand or decide together on a particular thing. This shouldn’t be so. Develop a very strong relationship with your spouse, that making joint decisions becomes easy-peasy. It is not good for one spouse to be making all the decisions while the other feels side-lined or not involved in the family affairs.


It doesn’t matter if you are the spouse making all the money for the family, when it comes to making a decision, please discuss and work through the process with your spouse. Remember, two heads are better than one. Solo decisions disregarding your spouse can lead to a divorce. Work and decide together!


For a family to maintain joy, peace, transparency and the likes in their home, they need to decide jointly on the matter regardless of how trivial the issue is. Below are processes of decision making in a family. Remember, the more you try, the better you get at it and the easier it becomes to work together with your spouse.

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#1.    Identify the decision to be made


As a family, know your needs and the major decisions that should be taken together. By identifying the decision to be made, you will know how to present the matter to your spouse.


Couples, be committed to your families. Envisage and identify the strong needs of the family. These needs will determine the sort of decision that will be made. A casual decision on the spot or one requiring further research before making the decision will also depend on your family needs.


Also, identifying the decisions to be made should be done early as this will let you know the timeline that you have to make your decision and take certain actions.

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    #2.    Consult your spouse


    Seek the opinion of your spouse. Note that inputs from both of you will refine the decision to a great extent. You never can tell the perspective your spouse will see it from that will further improve the quality of the decision.


    Again, it will appear odd for your spouse to realise the decisions you have made without him or her. It doesn’t feel good, and no one likes being ignored or side-lined, especially in decision-making.


    Consulting your spouse depicts respect and appreciation for the person’s intellectual capabilities. Furthermore, you will enjoy peace, honesty and transparency in your home, and there is nothing like it.


    As the outcome of a decision will rest on the shoulders of both of you, it is far better to consult your spouse and decide jointly. It pays to work as a team in a marriage relationship.

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    #3.    Mutual agreement


    The cases or issues of “he/she decided without me” will be far from your home and marriage when you have a mutual agreement regarding any matter.


    Having a mutual agreement on a matter means being on the same page. Strive for this in your home. Let the both of you be fully aware of what is going on in the family per time. There are no excuses for ignoring your spouse when making decisions except in extreme situations such as sickness or otherwise.


    Have a mutual agreement on the affairs of your home.

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    #4. Research the decision


    Research opens your eyes to possibilities and options you never thought existed. When you work together as a team to achieve a common goal in your family, you would want to make the best possible decisions per time.


    Do some research on the decision to be made and see how you can modify or refine your decision. In order to make an informed decision, you need to be informed. Ask the right questions and seek answers in the right places. Ask experts, browse the internet or read books regarding a particular thing before making an informed decision.

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    "...Irrespective of the type of a decision, it comes with either benefits or regrets. That’s why they say “choose wisely”, and in this case, I would say, decide wisely, or better still, make an informed decision."
    #5. Make the decision jointly


    Having done the preceding points, it is time to finally make the decision jointly. It feels really good to be transparent and work as a team with your spouse. As a team, you know the work that needs to be done, and you do it jointly.


    If you want a long-lasting relationship/marriage, carry your spouse along in your decision making. You and your spouse are one and hence, should act so in all areas of your personal and family lives.


    Deciding jointly doesn’t take away your individuality, in fact, it honours it and also brings synergy to your relationship.


    As couples, make decisions with the consent and knowledge of each other. Avoid suspicious actions that could pique your family life. When you make spontaneous decisions, endeavour to inform your spouse afterwards to avoid any form of friction in your marriage.


    Let’s continue to dazzle as we make joint informed decisions in our marriages!

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