Marriage relationship requires good efforts to nurture and grow. It takes two imperfect individuals who have made up their minds to keep getting better, to remain married.
A couple can extensively improve their chances of staying married by committing themselves to each other and their marriage. This act of commitment involves programming your mind to value your relationship and to keep working at it daily.
Deciding from the onset of your marriage that divorce is not going to be an option is one great way of staying married. There are some facts about divorce that you should be aware of even when you are married (see an article on ‘What you should know about divorce!’).
For a couple to stay married and avoid divorce, here are some fundamental and practicable tips for improving relationship between couples, and to keep the vibes in their relationships going, and remain happy ever after.
1. Fidelity
Remain faithful to each other. Nothing breaks down trust and marriages as infidelity. I don’t think a spouse that is indulging in such would condone it from his/her partner. Since he/she won’t do that, then he/she should not indulge in it. Build trust and remain faithful and committed to your spouse.
2. Resolve issues as soon as they occur
Try to resolve issues as soon as they occur. Forgive quickly and move on. Keeping malice or grudges affects your mental health and also increases your stress levels.
The aim is to remain joyful and happy together. Sincerely apologise to your spouse when you have wronged him/her and also ensure not to repeat the same actions that caused the misunderstanding. Work together as a team and resolve issues as soon as they occur.
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3. Understanding
Understanding is crucial in any human relationship. Understand that you are both imperfect persons. Your spouse or partner is just as human as you. Deal with each other in understanding. Work together to become the best you can be.
4. Seek to have agreements on all your affairs
Can two walk together except they have agreed (The Holy Bible, Amos 3:3)? One good way to avoid divorce and maintain joy, peace and happiness in your home is to walk in agreement.
Couples need to prioritise their needs from their wants. They also need to agree on how their money and investments will be made and managed.
Couples are likely to face problems or have serious issues that can lead to a divorce if they fail to agree on their affairs.
5. Respect each other
Have mutual respect and let not one partner demand that things should always be done their way. Respect and value each other.
As your marriage grows, don’t stop honouring, respecting and appreciating each other. Don’t start talking down on your partner in private and in public. Respect each other’s viewpoints or opinions.
6. Note the specific issues that are causing problems
Note the specific issues or habits causing the marital problems you are facing and seek targeted solutions to those issues together.
Work on any character attributes, actions or habits that are putting a strain on your relationship with your spouse.
7. Seek professional help
Go for counselling together and get tips and tools that will help you remedy the challenges you are having and make your marriage better and stronger.
At first, you might not see the difference, but with persistence, you will see results.
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8. Spend quality time together
Make out time each day no matter your busy schedule to be together with your spouse. It doesn’t matter if you are apart. See our long-distance relationship article here.
Even if it’s just for 30 minutes or an hour, devote time to be with each other. Be intentional about it and build your bond with each other.
9. Have regular sex
Make out time to make love regularly. Making love creates a special bond between you and your spouse. It impacts on your physical appearance and emotional wellbeing as well. Cuddle and flirt with each other often.
"Make out time to make love regularly. Making love creates a special bond between you and your spouse. It impacts on your physical appearance and emotional wellbeing as well. Cuddle and flirt with each other often."
10. Constantly reaffirm your love
Continually reassure each other of your love and commitment. Say ‘I love you’ at least once daily. Remind yourselves how you will always be there for each.
Constantly reaffirming your love can never be too much. Also, take time and appreciate each other’s show of love. You can’t go wrong by verbally affirming and appreciating each other.
11. Do stuff together
Doing things together will build your capacities and help you bond better. From fixing things around the house to playing games, going for a walk even with the kids, and so many others. You are a family, try and work together to build your family relationship.
12. Look good and attractive
Somehow, your appearance contributed to you being together. Don’t water it down. Continue to look good and attractive even if you have added some weight. You can also lose weight to achieve your desired look. Always look good and appear attractive to your spouse. Get some tips on how your fashion sense and appearance matters in your relationships here.
13. Drop negative attitude
If you nag even when opinions are presented most lovingly and calmly, fight unnecessarily or over the silliest stuff, lose your temper over tiny issues, or you always see things from the negative angle, please drop it. Your relationships and marriage won’t last long with such attitude. Your relationship is what matters, not your ego.
14. Try starting all over
The best action to take when you miss your way is to make a U-turn. Try starting all over. Woo each other, spice up things, have some time alone and infuse some love back into your relationship. Let go of the negativity and problems and start afresh. Sometimes, to move forward, you may need to start all over.
Are there other tips and thoughts that married couples can adopt to improve their relationships and avoid divorce? Please feel free to share your insights and experiences in the comment section. Thank you. Let’s continue to dazzle together!
Comments 2
A very insightful post. I love how most of these tips are centered around communication and commitment. Thank you for sharing.
Author
Dear Yemi,
Thank you very much for your comment. It sure takes both commitment and communication like you rightly summarised to keep a relationship going.